-Drew moved to Chicago about a month ago to take a very exciting new job! We've been watching Mad Men marathons and eating Giordano's pizza (for Valentine's Day, in the shape of a heart!) with reckless abandon. Basically, we're going to be 300 pounds by summertime. It's awesome.
-I've been considering moving, mostly due to an increased neighbor involvement and encouragement from Drew. A snippet of what's been going on on the homefront:
A group of young, upstanding boys have decided to make my floor's hallway their ground zero of pot smoking. Come on, guys, let's at least go home to do this. I wouldn't be that annoyed except they sit directly in front of my door for stretches of several hours, preventing me from leaving and from thinking non-drug addled thoughts.
My neighbor (mother of Crazy Next Door) decided to stop by one day this week, after I was stuck talking to her at the laundromat for an hour. During this hour, she told me that I'm too nice, that I'll probably end up decapitated (!) in a bath tub because "people in this place are CRAZY, girl"), and that I must keep an eye on my laundry, as it might be stolen. She has proof that this happens because she saw people steal 1500 dollars from a dryer once. She never explained why there was that amount of money in a dryer to begin with. Anyway, after that pleasant event, she encountered me a few days later in the hallway, where she asked me my pant size. Apparently she has some clothes for me that she thinks I'd like. I tried to get out of this quickly, and I thought that I had succeeded.
A few hours later, I heard a knock on my door. Now, I refuse to answer knocks at the door, unless I know that someone is coming over. I'm absolutely certain that I won't want to talk to whoever unexpectedly shows up at my door. However, the visitor knocked four times over the course of 2 minutes, and then she started yelling "It's your neighbor! I hear the TV! I know you're there!"
Darn. Not the first time viewing 16 and Pregnant has led to a bad situation.
I answered the door, and I found my neighbor smoking in my doorway. She asked if she could use my cellphone to locate her 35 year old daughter. Um, okay. After this call, she told me that she'd be back in a bit to give me clothes.
I had to think of a way to get out of this, of course, so I turned on the shower. I figured that if she came back and heard the shower, she'd leave. I sat down on the bathroom floor next to the running shower to wait. Yes, this was a low point of my life.
When Neighbor returned, she knocked, and knocked, and knocked. She waited out the duration of a normal shower. She continued knocking. She started talking to herself. Okay, time to step in. I shut off the shower, switched sweaters, and answered the door. I made up some excuse about having to get ready for class. I'm pretty sure that she realized that having completely dry hair and just wearing a different sweater didn't equal having taken a shower. Not so smooth.
After this awkward series of encounters, I decided that moving might be in my future. I can't bring myself to sit on the bathroom floor again to hide from my neighbors. Because "they're CRAZY, girl."
0 comments:
Post a Comment